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Giving and taking feedback – especially negative feedback – is challenging for many people. In fact, most avoid it like the plague. But if you can do it and do it well (and often), you will be able to grow leaps and bounds above those who are too afraid to ask difficult questions or have sensitive conversations. To be honest, I still struggle with giving and taking feedback. It's not always easy. However, learning to ask how you can do better and truly listening to the advice and guidance given to you in return is a sign of professional maturity.
When I first started in my current role, I had an inflated view of my performance and thought I was absolutely crushing it every day. At about three months in, I asked my peers how I was doing. I genuinely wanted their feedback but assumed they would just tell me how amazing I was at my job. Unfortunately, that's not how this scenario played out. I actually received less than stellar reviews. I was stunned. But I really shouldn't have been. I had gone too long living in my own little world, never checking in regularly with others to see how my performance was being received.
We live in a society today where people are hesitant to give others feedback. No one wants to hurt people's feelings. But sometimes we're simply unsure how to communicate constructive feedback without being labeled as that difficult person to work with. I've been there many times before. It's a lot easier to observe from afar than to tell someone how they can improve – much less, to their face. This is why constantly asking for feedback is imperative. You can't just wait for people to give it to you. (You might never get it otherwise!) And just because people don't say you have room for improvement means that everything is perfect.
I once asked a colleague who I respect highly to share some of his tricks for being successful. He sat me down and gave me one bit of advice that I still use every day: “At the end of every meeting, ask everyone else in the room what can you do better and what did you do well – and actively listen to this feedback and even write it down. Then, make sure to show them that you are implementing this as soon as possible. Repeat the process for two years. Soon enough you will become indispensable and on a whole different level.” Pretty great feedback, eh?
So, in the spirit of giving feedback, here are my four biggest tips for creating a feedback loop that will help you succeed above your wildest dreams:
Repeat after me: your self-worth (i.e. who you as a person) is not tied to the feedback you receive. When someone critiques your work, remember it's not an indictment of you as a person but more so of your work on a particular project or job. We all have egos, I totally get it. Being able to take criticism, learn from it, and apply it early on in your career will take you wherever you want to go.
Everybody has strengths and weakness. It's what makes us human. Instead of dwelling over what you are not the best at, see it as a challenge to improve in some way. Microsoft CEO, Satya Nadella believes that the key to motivating employees "starts with a belief that everyone can grow and develop." As a leader, he makes a point to give and take feedback constantly to help grow the careers of the people around him.
Imagine if nobody ever gave you feedback, and you just kept doing the same thing over and over again for years. That is, until one day, maybe 20 years down the road, somebody called you out on it and, for the first time ever you realized that you could have been doing something better. I would personally rather get that feedback today and start making improvements instantly than have a big wake up call once in a position of greater responsibility where I need to be an amazing leader for my team. It doesn't matter if you are in your 20's or your 60's, the earlier you can learn, the better!
Even people at the top of their game aren't perfect. Let's use Tom Brady as an example. He still throws interceptions and loses games every now and then. After all, he is just human. But he clearly uses those experience to improve every single year. In fact, he's known for analyzing everything, asking his coaches for feedback, watching videos of every single throw, and even working out with other quarterbacks in the off-season to learn new tips and tricks. Brady knows he will never be perfect, but as long as he strives to improve with every pass – and not making the same mistakes over and over again – he knows he'll get much closer to his goals.
Listen, you don't need to be the CEO of Microsoft or a Super Bowl-winning Quarterback for this feedback to apply. These bits of advice are relevant to everyone. Remember, feedback is a sign that you are challenging yourself, getting out of your comfort zone, and working hard to get one step closer to where you want to be. A lot of tech companies talk about shortening the feedback loop when building new products. Take the time to embrace this mindset and apply it to your own career as well. It will most definitely pay off in the long run.
