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It happens to everyone: the unexpected. Royalty, celebrities, CEOs, news reporters, you, and me. Things beyond our control happen. It could be a technical glitch, misplaced notes or files, an awkward question, a wardrobe malfunction, or even a natural disaster.
But just like the meteorologist in the video, or the viral BBC Dad, sometimes the show must go on and you need to remain professional. Luckily, most of us are not on live TV every day and can quickly recover from potentially embarrassing moments. Whether you’re speaking at a large conference, or on a video call at home, here are a few tips to keep in mind so you can stay cool when the unexpected occurs.
Fear — and the fight or flight response — is an instinct that every animal and human possess. Physically, your hypothalamus activates your sympathetic nervous and adrenal-cortical systems. It often appears as physical responses: increased heart rate, tensed muscles, increased breathing, and so on. These are all designed to help you survive dangerous situations. It’s perfectly natural, and without fear, or the anticipation of terrible things, we wouldn’t survive for long.
This is what Professor Robert Kelly visibly does in the clip where his children and wife burst in on his live TV interview. He briefly closes his eyes, and you can almost see him thinking, “Yup, this is happening. Okay, keep going.” If you are startled or angry about something unexpected, take a few seconds to regain composure. Many psychologists and doctors recommend counting to ten, giving your brain a chance to regulate emotions and settle. Another good move is to take a sip of water if you have it nearby. It gives your body something to do while allowing your mind a few seconds to process what happened and recover.
Obviously, when something unexpected happens, you become surprised. Your body might go into ‘fight or flight’ mode which manifests physically. You may find yourself breathing heavily or even holding your breath. The first step back to physical recovery is to calm yourself down by regulating your breathing. After all, your brain needs oxygen to get back on track.
When something goes wrong, acknowledge it. No need to be elaborate or give long explanations, but a brief acknowledgment of the situation (e.g. your PowerPoint slides are not advancing, your fire alarm goes off while on a phone call, a building evacuation while interviewing job candidates -- all things that have happened to me, by the way) helps smooth it over and can help put others at ease, especially if there is some confusion about what's happening.
It all depends on the situation of course, but often a little humor can diffuse tense situations. As Kare Anderson mentions in her article, if you can poke fun at yourself or joke about a common situation, you can use it to your advantage to build bonds or even trust. Don’t try to be a comedian though; a smart one-liner, a self-deprecating joke, or even a groan-worthy pun will suffice and can put you back on course.
Sometimes a situation or meeting starts going wrong when another person challenges you or worse, accuses you of making errors. Your instinct might be to get defensive and flustered, but keeping cool lets your professionalism shine through. First, ask for clarification if you don’t understand what’s being asked of you, or what you are being accused of. If you are being accused of something, don’t escalate the conflict by blaming others and defending yourself wildly. Instead, take that step back to gain composure, and refute false claims with facts. Listen to the other person, apologize if you are in the wrong, clarify misunderstandings, and work on moving forwards.
No matter how much you’ve prepared for a meeting, someone always asks a question that you completely didn’t expect. We often dread being put on the spot, but you don’t have to anymore. Lying is out. Don’t do it — you could easily be proven wrong and put yourself in a deeper hole. Instead, confidence is the key. If you don’t know the answer, admit it. If you do it with confidence, it won’t look like you’re lacking preparation, but are willing to do extra work and become knowledgeable. For example, reply with: “That’s a very good question, and I must admit that I don’t know the answer right now. But I’ll look into it right away and will provide you with an answer. Thank you for raising this point.” If the question isn’t relevant to the conversation, it’s also okay to deflect and buy time by promising to discuss after the meeting, or after main points have been covered.
In the end though, this situation will pass, and hopefully, you’ll be able to laugh about it some day. Take it from Mariah Carey, after her Rocking New Year’s Eve snafu:
